2021: Wins, Losses, Lessons, & People.

 

I think my initial struggle to put these thoughts into words, is the best note on which to begin this content. My mind housed the desire to write this review, at least, three weeks before I would later bring myself into the action.

And for a consummate writer as I like to believe of myself, this was a particular subject of worry for me throughout the year. 

I wrote, at least, three articles – a thousand words minimum – every week from January through August, all of them being paid gigs.

It’s scary how money can be a crazy sponsor for motivation, because here’s the thing – the contents I wrote for money were not ones I had a thing for.

They were mostly technical topics, which demanded tremendous amounts of diligence in the way of research. Besides two blogs of my own, I volunteer on two other blogs, where I write on topics and to the kind of audience that make my heart flutter. 

 I can recall more than two instances where I tried writing something on these topics for this audience, and would stare at my laptop’s screen for minutes, less as a result of not knowing what to write than how to write, and how to start.

People call it writer’s block, but this block never happened when the deal was about writing tasks that would oil my bank account. It was terrible, and one of the choices I wish I did better about, this year. 

The Journey in Retrospect

I returned to Ibadan on the 31st of December 2020, from Young Ministers Retreat – an annual camp meeting which has become an important part of my year, since 2019. Like I always do, I had an honest conversation with myself that evening, before proceeding to my local church for the crossover service. 

The conversation had to be honest; because I was leaving a year filled with things I could call laurels, things that attracted praises from diverse angles. But I didn’t need to be told that the enemy of the next success is the last success.

With 'achievements' come a sense of complacence, a feeling of arrival, when in fact; the journey has not even begun. I could not afford that. I was not ready for that. Hence, the honest conversation. 

Unlike previous years, I broke my 2021 goals down into various compartments; spiritual, academicals, intellectual, social, financial, career-wise, and purpose-wise. Instead of jumbling all the goals up in a single list, an order like this, I sensed, would hike the feasibility of those goals. And to an extent, I think it did. 

January

January was amazing, and a perfect pedestal on which to start the year. My relationship with the Client I started working with in late 2020 deepened so much, that she promoted me from a Contributing Writer to Blog Manager.

The perks that came with the promotion happened to be an answer to one of my heartfelt prayers. If my experience working with this person taught me anything, it is that, diligence never goes unrewarded. The distance between the work and the payoff may be long or short, but good works do not stay unnoticed for life. 

My contact with this client, in November 2020, was mostly official. We conversed throughout the later part of the year on Gmail. I didn’t know who she was, neither did she know who I was, and there was even no trace of picture. It was what you could call ghostwriting in its full sense. 

Of course, I didn’t think I was getting a fair pay for the quality of my contents, but that did not affect my delivery. It did not matter the length of the project, my turnover always happened at least two days to the deadline. 

I was just doing my own thing, but had no idea it was catching my client’s fancy. How I knew was when she sent me an amount two times my normal pay, a day to Christmas, last year.

She said it was her way of commending the good works so far, and that I was different from all the writers she has worked with in time past. I told her I was a Christian when she asked, and she said she should not have wondered. 

We became so close that she got in contact with my mum, and I with her husband, who was an editor on the blog. A remarkable man, I must say. 

Highlights

• I read four books

• I witnessed Biden/Harris inauguration firsthand (It meant and still means a lot to me)

• I watched 3 debates.

• I got a new laptop

February

February seemed like an early brake to my 2021’s drive. It came with a kind of blankness I could not explain. February taught me to analyze the weight of my prayers, before pushing for their answers. I loved the fact that I was now a blog manager, but did not exactly anticipate the deluge of work that would come with it. 

Plus, school just resumed after a whole year of break, and books were piling up to be read from left and right. I had leadership commitments to a couple of organizations, in all of these, and there was my own daily personal development routine, too. 

I struggled with the balance, and even almost got overwhelmed at a point, because I do hate to flunk. I would rather not welcome a commitment than taking it up, and delivering below par. But, things would get better with time.

Highlights

• I read a book or two

• I wrote at least fifteen articles 

March 

I have needed an important tool for a while now, to further my writing career. And miraculously, my client volunteered to earmark a loan for me. I found the offer partly exciting, and partly scary.

 Exciting because I would finally get a handle on a bundle of things. Scary because, my God, would I be in my right mind to think I could start shouldering loans at this age? The terms were quite convenient, though, and my parents consented to the idea. 

It would take me three months to balance up, and what this meant was, I would be unable to take a break from working every single week for three calendar months. I did not let that deter me, even with the imminence of my second semester examination in second year. 

I was getting lesser than usual in payment, but my delivery was nothing less of outstanding, and as it should always be.

The management assigned a project that was out of the contract to me one afternoon, and asked how long it would take me to deliver. I said 3 days.

They gave me a go ahead, and I turned it over in 24 hours. I was not surprised they were impressed once again, because I was, myself. 

Just the third week into the contract, and the loan got cancelled. A delicious payoff. 

Highlights

• I applied for Bolaji Abdullah Mentorship Program, made the first stage, but not the final stage. (B. Adbullah is a former Minister of Youths and Sports in Nigeria, and if you are a recent UTME candidate, he wrote the recommended literature text “Sweet Sixteen”) I read my brother’s copy of the text, and found the author intriguing. I thought I could learn a lot from him, so I connected with his programs on SM, and boom, the Mentorship Program. Even if I didn’t eventually make it in, the brief experience I had is tradable for nothing.

• I started my second semester exams in second year.

• I wrote a piece for Women on IWD’21. (I have a thing for the female gender, and am a strong advocate of gender equality across board.)

• I listened to a terrific sermon by Pastor Tara of The Standing Church, titled “The Spirit of Excellence”. It affected my exams in an equally terrific way.

• I started my second semester exams in 200 Level. 

April 

April started on a note of cruise for me, lol. I met this great girl while reading on a particular night in school. I did like her, albeit without a particular conviction, so to say. She just made sense, and in the follow-up process, I would realize we share a taste for music genre.

And she was quite reserved. Reserved people hold my attention. She really wasn’t bad. I tried to advance things, but could not muster much energy. I had contacts with a handful of girls this year, but here's not for that. My autobiography is.

The sense of security that comes with being single for a long time can be very addictive, I would figure out. I decided I wasn’t ready to go the extra mile, and that was it.

April happened to be the time I also swung into action about YADI. Young and Directed Initiative is an idea God breathed into my heart in late 2019.

Reaching out to and orientating youngsters, high school students – folks who are at the edge of making formative life choices, especially in career, is the message of the vision. 

And other than the fact that I organized a team of ten to eleven friends to help out with things in January 2020, I had basically done nothing else about actualizing the vision. 

This was primarily owing to the fact that schools were shut down for the most part of 2020, and students are our targets. 

When schools resumed early this year, though, I and Samuel – a great friend of mine and a volunteer in YADI, submitted a letter of interest to speak at a nearby public school, but it didn’t work out due to a lapse on the school's part.

I slipped into lethargy thereafter. Christian Students Fellowship – my school church, organized an in-house meeting a while after, and had an alumnus – a medical doctor now, come over to speak. The speech threw me off balance so much that I knew I needed the kind of energy this man exuded in my life. And so I took his contact, and conversed with him online that night. 

I told him about YADI, and how I have been trapped in a rut for a while.  I will never get over what he said that night. “Feranmi, too much planning is what kills dreams like this” “You have to step out, and start anyhow”.

 Start anyhow rang in my head for hours. These words struck the right places in my viscerals.  

Before then, I had always thought we had to do things in the four walls of a school, never thought we could speak to students on the road even as they proceeded home. They would listen, and our goals would be achieved, only not in the way we had in mind. 

Guess what? We started YADI anyhow the next day, I and Samuel, and it was one of the most fulfilling days of my life, and I’m sure, of Sam, too! You can check out pictures from our first outreach here.

Highlights:

• I attended Prayer Hub – one of the defining spiritual meetings I attended this year. 

• I read “Growing Up in the Prophetic” by Mike Bickle

• I met a mentor Dr Michaels, who reignited my spark for YADI. 

• I concluded my second year! 

May

I was home for break in the early part of May. We just concluded an academic session, which for me, meant a promotion to third year. In the course of the lockdown last year, I received an instruction from God to run for the office of the Vice President in my faculty.

I initially found such instruction lofty, not because I did not trust God, but because I personally knew I was a long shot for this position. 

This was a Faculty of five large departments, comprising of over two thousand students, and there was I, an introverted student who talked only when he needed to. 

In March of 2021, I mustered the courage to discuss my intention with someone in the system, whose persona I greatly respected, and whose lifestyle I admired. I expected an encouragement from this person, but sadly, the aftermath of the conversation sent the only one ounce of hope I had in me to hell.

 I think I gave up mentally, and promised to continue with my academics. But the burden latched on to my spirit over the months. It did not make sense. 

Meanwhile a cordial friend of mine, during the lockdown, kept sharing with me prophecies of my political destiny. He had lots of dreams during those times, which pointed to my emergence, and he documented every one of them, and sent to me. I had already received the instruction myself prior to this time, but I was scared to confirm it to him, because, a part of me still doubted the possibility. 

Now, we were going to resume another session in late May, and preparations for elections would soon commence. I spoke with God on the 6th of May, asked him for a fresh and specific confirmation this time, by causing my friend to bring it up. On the 9th of May, in the night, my friend did bring it up, and we immediately swung into action. 

Highlights

• Distinguished Teenagers had her first meeting in University of Lagos.

• I completed the reading of Michelle Obama’s memoir “Becoming”

• YADI got restructured 

• Lindsay from University of Chicago replied my mail (Details will come in later)

June

Highlights:

• I completed reading the book “Growing up in the prophetic” by Mike Bickle

• I started reading Purple Hibiscus by CAN – an expository book

• 300 Level first semester began

• I spoke with my client about a raise, but got turned down. It demotivated me about the job

• ECO approved my broadcast, which meant I could now go ahead with both virtual and physical campaigns

• I’m grateful for my Dad. 

• The later part of June was spent campaigning. 

July

By July, I and my team were already overwhelmed with electoral business. The competition was as fierce as the opposition. The two weeks leading to the election almost took a toll on my mental health, because we started getting resistance from unexpected places.

 It was such a warfront, but I’m thankful for strength. You know this thing when you honestly want to give up, but you cannot assemble the strength to do it? Yes, that was it. In all of the struggles, I always found myself strengthened beyond reason. I knew I did not come of my own accord, I was sent. I came in the Name of the Lord, so I had to be blessed. 

On the 9th of July 2021, following a free, fair, and credible election, I became the Vice President of Basic Medical Science Students Association, Olabisi Onabanjo University Chapter. You can read my thank you note for more details on this.

August

Every first of August is my birthday. It was on a Sunday, this year, and all I did throughout the day was receive calls, reply texts, and God bless Grace Fasetire, who deemed it fit to ask what I felt like eating, and brought a plate of fried rice and beef with a chilled chapman, to my place that night. 

Grace is one of the amazing people God brought my way this year; she messaged me on a particular evening before the election, and shared a campaign strategy she thought would do. 

New blessings come with new lessons and, I dare say, greater responsibilities. I have never been as busy, in my life, as I was after my inauguration as Vice President. 

My journaling habit coasted, and so did my reading of extra-curricular books. But these times taught me the art of delegation. One big gaffe you do not want to make in leadership as a leader, is to think everything has to be accomplished via your hands. You are going to mess things up really bad. 

 Knowing when, how, and who to outsource what responsibilities to, are indispensable keys to effective leadership. I learnt that, and it helped me. No, I did not get a perfect handle on all of my activities, but things became less overwhelming immediately I put the right persons in the right places. 

Ofure is one person I truly have to thank, for volunteering to fill the leadership gap my new schedule was going to leave in Distinguished Teenagers, and so is every member of the Stakeholder and Volunteers Groups. These guys, I tell you, are all shades of distinguished. 

September 

September exposed me more deeply to the nitty-gritty of administration. The tenure had already started, and the nascent euphoria over. There were works to do. Lots of them.

 And some of the times, we the executives did not see eye-to-eye on projects and policies. 

But I would learn that there was such a thing as disagreeing to agree. This helped me put things into perspective. 

Highlights:

• I read books 

• I concluded 300L First Semester

October

My office organized an Inter-departmental debate and Public Lecture. It was a maiden edition, and featured three toptier speakers – Festus Ogun ESQ, Mr Ifade Segun, and Engr. Tunji Adeniran, who are not only strong catalysts for societal change, but also standout professionals in their respective spheres. 

The event wasn't only successful, it was as well explosive. 

Highlights

• I read books, particularly Kamala Hariss’s “The Truths We Hold”

• I resumed 300L Second Semester

• I started Bibles Believers College at CSF

• I sent lots of official mails and watched different debates

November

The details of November are not readily coming to mind, partly because maybe nothing much did happen, and mainly because my journaling habit slacked in the later months of the year, November inclusive. 

My concentration level, I would say, took a freefall. The motivation I had for my side job fizzled out, not for lack of diligence on my part, but payment rigidity on the part of my client. 

A reasonable rate in 2020, is apparently up for debate in 2021, considering the crazy inflation in commodity prices.

If I was going to work, the returns should at least be able to cover my basic expenses. If it was not going to do that, I decided I had better stayed with what I had, even though the decision would tailspin my finances in the weeks ahead. 

These periods, though, taught me once again that God is the one who runs things. I was never without help. I had never been. I will never be. 

Highlights:

• I read books

• I made a couple of new friends, joined a new club

December

This month has been one of enormous pressure for me. I had my final exams in third year coming, was caught up with certain administrative responsibilities on every frontier, dealing with the feeling of inadequacy that accompanied what I considered a relative underperformance in regards to my goals for the year, and suddenly analyzing the weight of expectations projected to me from different angles. 

I have never been in need of as much strength as I required in the course of this month. For the first time in a long while, I found it difficult to walk my “emotional stability” talk. But, in all these twists and turns, I rediscovered a genuine intimacy with the Source of Strength. 

December reinvigorated my spiritual spark in a way that the preceding eleven months put together, did not. I have not actually cried, I mean, shed real tears in a while.

 This month, I have cried. And I remember loving the warmth with which those tears massaged my cheeks. I remember loving the peace that enwrapped my heart, following that brief surrender. Maybe, crying is therapeutic, after all. 

This is not even intended to appeal to anybody’s emotions. It is just my way of telling those beautiful ones who see in me a virtue worth following, that the “supermen” amongst us are simply still men. That the road of life is not entirely linear. That as there are twists, so are there turns. But that in all of these, we are not without help. 

Attached below is a template of my favorite books in 2021. I didn't read as many books as I hoped to, but I am thankful for the lessons that accompanied ones I read.

I am The Feranmi Oyedele.

And here’s not where my story ends...